There are all sorts of things that I see going on over on Facebook that really make me scratch my head. You know, those absurd chain status updates or a friend request from a complete stranger. So, I took it upon myself to make up a list of ten things that not only completely annoy me, but probably the majority of the general public, too. Let me clarify – these “don’ts” that I’m going to list apply to personal Facebook pages – not Facebook Fan pages.
1. Don’t send me a friend request if you don’t actually know me. Facebook isn’t about networking (at least for the majority of people on there) – it’s about reconnecting. Why would I want a complete stranger to know what I’m up to or have the right to see pictures of my children? Sure, I put my kids faces on here, but you guys don’t get to see everything….some stuff is for Facebook friends only. So if you don’t know me in real life or at least talk to me on a regular basis through other forms of social media, save your energy because I’m never going to add you as a friend.
2. If I have met you or should know you somehow, but for some reason I don’t recognize your name and your profile picture is a photo of your dog (and not your face) – you’re not going to be my friend on Facebook. Even if we do have friends in common.
3. Don’t update your status every ten minutes. A couple of times a day is more than enough, trust me. Any more than that, I’m going to “hide” your updates and maybe even unfriend you. It’s happened.
4. Stop reposting this crap as your status: ”If you don’t repost this status word for word within in 13 minutes and 17 seconds, you’re going to be responsible for the death of 20 orphans. Then the devil himself will come up from hell, eat your soul for lunch and then puke it up – all over your house and then you will have to spend eternity cleaning up the remains of your barfed up pitiful soul”. KNOCK IT OFF.
5. dOnT wRiTe lIkE tHis. What are you, 12?
6. If you live in Wisconsin, stop inviting me to your events, ok? Obviously I’m not going to hop a plane for granny’s 95th birthday party.
7. If you are a close friend or a relative of mine and you have major, life-changing news – TEXT ME OR EMAIL ME. I don’t want a general broadcast status that is going out to all your friends…and me. I deserve better and expect, at a minimum, a personal text or an email.
8. Don’t tag me in crappy old photos from my childhood. I don’t need anyone seeing what I used to look like and frankly, what even prompted you to take the time to upload it? Upload your own ugly teenage years for all your friends to laugh at, but leave mine buried – where they should be. If I want to be tagged in a photo, I’ll do it myself.
9. Please try to watch your spelling & grammar in your status updates AND when you write on someone else’s wall. It makes you look like a dope when your post is filled with spelling and grammatical mistakes.. And I know that you all know how much run-on sentences drive me absolutely insane by now, right? Besides, if you’re a 30-something year old adult and can’t tell the difference between there, their and they’re by now – you should be ashamed of yourself.
10. Don’t post photos of your Friday night debauchery. Really, no one wants to see that and it just makes you look bad. If you’re my age, you shouldn’t be acting like that anyways, but even if you are only 19 – chances are you will regret posting that picture at some point in time and once it’s public – it’s public.