Hope everyone has an awesome Halloween!!
Oct 312010
Oct 272010
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”She answers, ‘My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.” “Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.” She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I am single and I’m Catholic too!” The nun says “OK, pull into the next alley.” He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?” “Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.” The nun says, “That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”
Oct 262010
In the spirit of halloween, which happens to be my favorite holiday, here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:
#10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
#9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again.
#8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
#7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
#6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
#5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
#4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
#3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
#2. Less guilt the next morning.
And the number one reason trick or treating is better than sex…
If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door!
Oct 262010
In the spirit of halloween, which happens to be my favorite holiday, here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:
#10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
#9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again.
#8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
#7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
#6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
#5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
#4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
#3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
#2. Less guilt the next morning.
And the number one reason trick or treating is better than sex…
If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door!
Oct 262010
In the spirit of halloween, which happens to be my favorite holiday, here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:
#10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
#9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again.
#8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
#7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
#6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
#5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
#4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
#3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
#2. Less guilt the next morning.
And the number one reason trick or treating is better than sex…
If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door!
Oct 262010
In the spirit of halloween, which happens to be my favorite holiday, here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:
#10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
#9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again.
#8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
#7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
#6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
#5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
#4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
#3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
#2. Less guilt the next morning.
And the number one reason trick or treating is better than sex…
If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door!
Oct 262010
In the spirit of halloween, which happens to be my favorite holiday, here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:
#10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
#9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again.
#8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
#7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
#6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
#5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
#4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
#3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
#2. Less guilt the next morning.
And the number one reason trick or treating is better than sex…
If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door!
Oct 262010
In the spirit of halloween, which happens to be my favorite holiday, here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:
#10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
#9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again.
#8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
#7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
#6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
#5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
#4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
#3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
#2. Less guilt the next morning.
And the number one reason trick or treating is better than sex…
If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door!
Oct 262010
In the spirit of halloween, which happens to be my favorite holiday, here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:
#10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
#9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again.
#8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
#7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
#6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
#5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
#4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
#3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
#2. Less guilt the next morning.
And the number one reason trick or treating is better than sex…
If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door!
Oct 222010
Halloween Things That Sound Dirty but Aren’t:
1. So…What did you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks.
5. You scared me stiff!
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you’re feeling.
8. Can I eat your Zagnuts?
9. They’ll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed but couldn’t get my mouth around it.
11. She’s a goblin!
12. I’d like to get a little something in the sack tonight.
13. He’s got Candy spread out on the living room floor!
14. She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch
15. If you just lick it, it’ll last longer.
16. Let me see your big sack!
17. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use two hands.
18. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
19. I got the best piece from that house.
20. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
Oct 222010
Halloween Things That Sound Dirty but Aren’t:
1. So…What did you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks.
5. You scared me stiff!
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you’re feeling.
8. Can I eat your Zagnuts?
9. They’ll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed but couldn’t get my mouth around it.
11. She’s a goblin!
12. I’d like to get a little something in the sack tonight.
13. He’s got Candy spread out on the living room floor!
14. She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch
15. If you just lick it, it’ll last longer.
16. Let me see your big sack!
17. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use two hands.
18. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
19. I got the best piece from that house.
20. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
Oct 212010
Last night myself and the fam headed down to Providence, RI to the Roger Williams Zoo to take in the Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular. There are literally thousands of carved & lighted pumpkins that are all set up along a trail in the zoo. It’s absolutely amazing and if you’re in the area and have never been, I highly recommend you stop by if you get the chance.
Oct 312009
Since Halloween is my favorite holiday, I scoured the internet and put a list of some Halloween fun facts together. Hope you like!
1. Halloween, referred to as All Hallows Eve, was originally a pagan holiday in which they honored the dead. It was celebrated on October 31 since this was the last day of the Celtic calendar. The celebration dates back some 2,000 years.
2. The next full moon on Halloween night will be October 31, 2020.
3. The Salem Witch trials of 1692 are known for burning “witches” at the stake. Actually, not one witch died by burning. The majority were put to death by hanging. One poor witch was “pressed” to death and several died in prison of natural causes.4. The first “Jack-O-Lanterns” were not pumpkins – they were hollowed-out turnips and originated in Ireland.
5. Orange and black are Halloween colors because orange is associated with the Fall harvest and black is associated with darkness and death.
6. Tootsie Rolls were the first wrapped penny candy in America.
7. Halloween candy sales average about 2 billion dollars annually in the United States.
8. Halloween is the 2nd most commercially successful holiday, beat out by Christmas.
9. 86% of Americans decorate their homes at Halloween.
10. The number one candy of choice for Halloween is Snickers.
11. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with “orange”.
12. Magician, Harry Houdini died on Halloween, 1926 in Detroit, MI.
13. Over 10% of pet owners dress their pets in Halloween costumes.
14. 90% of parents admit to sneaking goodies from their kids’ Halloween trick-or-treat bags.
I hope everyone has a fun and safe Halloween!
Oct 292009
Here are the answers to the riddles I posted on Tuesday! Hope you guys had fun trying to figure these out 
Riddle #1:
5 friends went trick-or-treating together for Halloween, but they soon got tired and went home at some point along the way. The next morning, the friends met up to exchange candy, so each could have their favorites. Can you figure out who wore what costume, in what order they left the group, and what each friend’s favorite candy is?
FRIENDS: Andy, Jane, Max, Pam, Sam
COSTUMES: witch, vampire, devil, cat, skeleton
CANDY: Reese’s, M&M’s, Snickers, Starburst, Milky Way
1) The 5 friends are Max, the witch, the girl who likes Starburst, the boy who dressed as a devil, and the person who left the group 3rd.
2) Andy (who does not like Milky Way) left sometime after Max and immediately before Sam.
3) Pam likes Starburst and she left after Sam.
4) The friends left the group in this order: the one who likes Reese’s, the witch, Andy, the one who likes Milky Way, and Pam.
5) The skeleton likes M&M’s.
6) The vampire was not last.
Answer:
1) Max, Vampire, Reese’s
2) Jane, Witch, Snickers
3) Andy, Skeleton, M&M’s
4) Sam, Devil, Milky Way
5) Pam, Cat, Starburst
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Riddle #2: Why are there fences around cemetaries? Answer: Because ppl are dying to get in.
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Riddle #3: Why do ghouls and demons hang out together? Answer: Because demons are a ghouls best friend.
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Riddle #4: Why does Dracula water ski? Answer: On Lake Erie
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Riddle #5: Can you solve this riddle? Each line contains a clue to the letter that comes next in the word. (Hint: It’s the name of a creature).
My first letter is in spell, but never in book,
My second letter is in fright and also in shook
My third letter is in cauldron, but never in pot,
My fourth letter is in net and also in knot,
My fifth letter is in bat, but never in vampire,
My sixth letter is in coal, but not found in fire
My seventh letter is in moon, but not in night,
Complete I will give you a spooky fright!
Answer: A Phantom
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Riddle#6: What do you get when you cross a witch and an iceberg? Answer: A Cold Spell
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Riddle #7: When is it bad luck to meet a black cat? Answer: When you’re a mouse
Oct 272009
Because I am a random type of girl, and because Halloween is my favorite holiday, I am going to give you guys some Halloween riddles. I have all the answers, but I am not going to put them in this post. I will post a new blog later this week with the answers, or I can DM you if you really want to know! I would love to hear your best guesses!! I thought this would be fun! Here goes:
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Riddle #1: 5 friends went trick-or-treating together for Halloween, but they soon got tired and went home at some point along the way. The next morning, the friends met up to exchange candy, so each could have their favorites. Can you figure out who wore what costume, in what order they left the group, and what each friend’s favorite candy is?
FRIENDS: Andy, Jane, Max, Pam, Sam
COSTUMES: witch, vampire, devil, cat, skeleton
CANDY: Reese’s, M&M’s, Snickers, Starburst, Milky Way
1)The 5 friends are Max, the witch, the girl who likes Starburst, the boy who dressed as a devil, and the person who left the group 3rd.
2) Andy (who does not like Milky Way) left sometime after Max and immediately before Sam.
3) Pam likes Starburst and she left after Sam.
4) The friends left the group in this order: the one who likes Reese’s, the witch, Andy, the one who likes Milky Way, and Pam.
5) The skeleton likes M&M’s.
6) The vampire was not last.
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Riddle #2: Why are there fences around cemeteries?
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Riddle #3: Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
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Riddle #4: Where does Dracula water ski?
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Riddle #5: Can you solve this riddle? Each line contains a clue to the letter that comes next in the word. (Hint: It’s the name of a creature).
My first letter is in spell, but never in book,
My second letter is in fright and also in shook,
My third letter is in cauldron, but never in pot,
My fourth letter is in net and also in knot,
My fifth letter is in bat, but never in vampire,
My sixth letter is in coal, but not found in fire
My seventh letter is in moon, but not in night,
Complete I will give you a spooky fright!
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Riddle #6: What do you get when you cross a witch with an iceberg?
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Riddle #7: When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?
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Have fun and I hope ya’ll have a Happy Halloween
“Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren’t going as ghosts but as mattresses”? -George Carlin
Oct 172009
Autumn/Halloween is my favorite time of the year. There are always so many fun things to do…..around here, at least. A typical October for me and/or my kids consists of corn mazes, pumpkin picking, hayrides, haunted houses and all sorts of “outdoor” events. So needless to say I was completely bummed when I heard the forecast for this weekend was all rain. Especially since there is only 1 more full weekend before Halloween and between a dumb sleepover event the 5 year old has next Saturday night and a birthday party smack dab in the middle of the day next Sunday, that entire weekend is pretty much shot already.
Being an avid scrapbooker, I need stuff to do, so I kind of improvised today. I gave the kids each a small pumpkin and some paints and let them have at it. They had a blast and I have a scrapbook page. Win win.
Here is what they did…..the 5 yr old’s is on the left and the 2 yr old’s is on the right. Cute, huh?
Oct 172009
Autumn/Halloween is my favorite time of the year. There are always so many fun things to do…..around here, at least. A typical October for me and/or my kids consists of corn mazes, pumpkin picking, hayrides, haunted houses and all sorts of “outdoor” events. So needless to say I was completely bummed when I heard the forecast for this weekend was all rain. Especially since there is only 1 more full weekend before Halloween and between a dumb sleepover event the 5 year old has next Saturday night and a birthday party smack dab in the middle of the day next Sunday, that entire weekend is pretty much shot already.
Being an avid scrapbooker, I need stuff to do, so I kind of improvised today. I gave the kids each a small pumpkin and some paints and let them have at it. They had a blast and I have a scrapbook page. Win win.
Here is what they did…..the 5 yr old’s is on the left and the 2 yr old’s is on the right. Cute, huh?
Oct 172009
Autumn/Halloween is my favorite time of the year. There are always so many fun things to do…..around here, at least. A typical October for me and/or my kids consists of corn mazes, pumpkin picking, hayrides, haunted houses and all sorts of “outdoor” events. So needless to say I was completely bummed when I heard the forecast for this weekend was all rain. Especially since there is only 1 more full weekend before Halloween and between a dumb sleepover event the 5 year old has next Saturday night and a birthday party smack dab in the middle of the day next Sunday, that entire weekend is pretty much shot already.
Being an avid scrapbooker, I need stuff to do, so I kind of improvised today. I gave the kids each a small pumpkin and some paints and let them have at it. They had a blast and I have a scrapbook page. Win win.
Here is what they did…..the 5 yr old’s is on the left and the 2 yr old’s is on the right. Cute, huh?
Oct 172009
Autumn/Halloween is my favorite time of the year. There are always so many fun things to do…..around here, at least. A typical October for me and/or my kids consists of corn mazes, pumpkin picking, hayrides, haunted houses and all sorts of “outdoor” events. So needless to say I was completely bummed when I heard the forecast for this weekend was all rain. Especially since there is only 1 more full weekend before Halloween and between a dumb sleepover event the 5 year old has next Saturday night and a birthday party smack dab in the middle of the day next Sunday, that entire weekend is pretty much shot already.
Being an avid scrapbooker, I need stuff to do, so I kind of improvised today. I gave the kids each a small pumpkin and some paints and let them have at it. They had a blast and I have a scrapbook page. Win win.
Here is what they did…..the 5 yr old’s is on the left and the 2 yr old’s is on the right. Cute, huh?
Oct 172009
Autumn/Halloween is my favorite time of the year. There are always so many fun things to do…..around here, at least. A typical October for me and/or my kids consists of corn mazes, pumpkin picking, hayrides, haunted houses and all sorts of “outdoor” events. So needless to say I was completely bummed when I heard the forecast for this weekend was all rain. Especially since there is only 1 more full weekend before Halloween and between a dumb sleepover event the 5 year old has next Saturday night and a birthday party smack dab in the middle of the day next Sunday, that entire weekend is pretty much shot already.
Being an avid scrapbooker, I need stuff to do, so I kind of improvised today. I gave the kids each a small pumpkin and some paints and let them have at it. They had a blast and I have a scrapbook page. Win win.
Here is what they did…..the 5 yr old’s is on the left and the 2 yr old’s is on the right. Cute, huh?