Memory Lane • Masshole Mommy

If there’s one question that I get asked more than any other, it’s “How did you meet your husband, Chris”?

Let me give you a little backstory first, though.

I had my second son on August 16, 2007 and he was delivered by c-section. I had several complications from the surgery and thanks to a visiting nurse who came to my house daily and a second surgical procedure, I was finally back to my old self about thirteen weeks after I had my son. Thirteen weeks!! It was a very long recovery and my ex-husband was ~~such a douche~~ anything but supportive and helpful during the time I was out of commission. Within a week or two of getting back on my feet, my husband left. Like as in moved out. We both mutually agreed that it wasn’t working out with us and it was for the best that we each go our seperate ways. That was in November of 2007.

Back in the good old days – before I had kids, I had a “real” job. And before you get your panties all into a bunch, when I say “real” job, I simply mean outside of the home and in no way, shape or form am I discounting the demands of being a SAHM. But……BC (before children) I had a career and I was good at what I did. In case you’re the least bit curious, I worked in stocks. As in the stock market not stocking shelves.

The other day, my husband asked me what my favorite Christmas gift of all time was and without hesitation I answered him…..

I still remember it like it was yesterday. The year was 1983 and I was eight years old (man, I’m getting old). There was only one thing on every little girl’s Christmas list that year and it was a Cabbage Patch Kid. If you were alive during the Cabbage Patch craze, you know that it was near impossible to get one when they first came out. Those things were flying off the shelves as fast as the stores put them out and I swear there were some crazy parents featured on the news every night for fighting other parents to get their hands on one.

I’ll never forget the time I found out that there was no such thing as Santa. It’s a moment frozen in time for me and I can still remember exactly how I felt when I heard the devastating news.

The year was 1984 and I was in the 4th grade at Parkview Elementary School. I was playing with my friends at recess outside at some point during the month of November when somehow we got onto the topic of Christmas and Santa. I’d been telling my friends about a Cabbage Patch Kid (yes, I totally just dated myself there) that I was hoping Santa would bring me.

My ~~so-called~~ friend Shawna Hurley looked me dead in the eye and said “you know there is no such thing as santa, right. It’s really your mom”. Everything after that was a blur. I was horrified, sad, disappointed and I remember feeling embarrassed that I seemed to be the last one to know. It was just like one of those moments like you see on tv where I was left standing there while everything in the background and all the people in it just sort of faded away.

I was a walker to and from school and the school was literally right up the street from my house, so I ran home that day and as much as I was hoping that it wasn’t true, my mom sadly confirmed that it was. She swore me to secrecy because my sister & brother were younger and still believed. I think she tried to make me feel better by trying to convince me that sharing this secret was somehow special, but I wasn’t buying it.

Now my children are experiencing the magic and I just hope that some rotten 4th grader doesn’t burst their bubble like Shawna did to me.

It’s funny, because I saw her at our 10 year reunion and and after talking to her for a few minutes, I told her she was the one that ruined Christmas for me and she gave me the exact same look as she did back when we were in the 4th grade. She looked at me like I was completely off my rocker.

Oh, and for the record….I got the Cabbage Patch Doll that I wanted that year. His name was Wade Xavier and I’m really not sure why I remember that.

Were any of you guys as crushed as I was when you found out that there was no Santa?

How I Met My Husband

One Thing I Really Miss

Greatest Christmas Gift Ever

The Day I Found Out There Was No Santa