Jun 102011

There are all sorts of things that I see going on over on Facebook that make me scratch my head.  You know, those absurd chain status updates or a friend request from a complete stranger.   So, I took it upon myself to make up a list of ten things that not only completely annoy me, but probably the majority of the general public, too.  Let me clarify, though, that these “don’ts” that I’m going to list apply to personal Facebook pages – not Facebook Fan pages.

1.  Don’t send me a friend request if you don’t actually know me.  Facebook isn’t about networking (at least for the majority of people on there) – it’s about reconnecting.  Why would I want a complete stranger to know what I’m up to or have the right to see pictures of my children?  In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t put my kids adorable faces here on my site and I’m clearly protective about who get to see my kids faces online. So if you don’t know me either in real life or talk to me on a regular basis through other forms of social media, save your energy because I’m never going to add you as a friend.

2.  If I have met you or should know you somehow, but for some reason I don’t recognize your name and your profile picture is a photo of your dog (and not your face) – you’re not going to be my friend on Facebook.  Even if we do have friends in common.

3.  Don’t update your status every ten minutes.  A couple of times a day is more than enough, trust me.  Any more than that, I’m going to “hide” your updates and maybe even unfriend you. 

4.  Stop reposting this crap as your status:  “If you don’t repost this status word for word within in 13 minutes and 17 seconds, you’re going to be responsible for the death of 20 orphans.  Then the devil himself will come up from hell, eat your soul for lunch and then puke it up – all over your house and then you will have to spend eternity cleaning up the remains of your barfed up pitiful soul”.  KNOCK IT OFF.

5.  dOnT wRiTe lIkE tHis.  What are you, 12?

6.  If you live in Wisconsin, stop inviting me to your events, ok?  Obviously I’m not going to hop a plane for granny’s 95th birthday party.

7.  If you are a close friend or a relative of mine and you have major, life-changing news – CALL ME.  I don’t want a general broadcast status that is going out to all your friends…and me.  I deserve better and expect, at a minimum, a personal text, email or call.

8.  Don’t tag me in crappy old photos from my childhood.  I don’t need anyone seeing what I used to look like and frankly, what even prompted you to take the time to upload it?  Upload your own ugly teenage years for all your friends to laugh at, but leave mine burried – where they should be.  If I want to be tagged in a photo, I’ll do it myself.

9.  Please try to watch your spelling & grammar in your status updates AND when you write on someone else’s wall.  It makes you look like a dope when your post is filled with spelling and gramatical mistakes..  And I know that you all know how much run-on sentences drive me absolutely insane by now, right?   Besides, if you’re a 30-something year old adult and can’t tell the difference between there, their and they’re by now – you should be ashamed of yourself.

10. Don’t post photos of your Friday night debauchery.  Really, no one wants to see that and it just makes you look bad.  If you’re my age, you shouldn’t be acting like that anyways, but even if you are only 19 – chances are you will regret posting that picture at some point in time and once it’s public – it’s public.

  29 Responses to “Ten Facebook Don’ts!”

  1. Love it! Along the lines of the chain status updates, if you are posting a lost child notification, just Google it, it probably isn’t true!

  2. Sounds like good advice… I hid a friend that must post 20 adopt this dog posts….Couldn’t take it any more.

  3. Great read! I know we all agree with every single one of these, but my all time FB no no is asking me to help you save your f’n animal on farmville!!!


  4. OMG! Yes AND don’t POST IN ALL CAPS every single post……I had someone who does that and promptly got rid of them because it drove me nuts…….and another “friend” that constantly posts how miserable she is and how sick she is etc etc……Never a “wow, today was a great day”

  5. have you been looking at my FB wall again? bwahahaha.
    Oh seriously I HATE the debauchery pics..seen those. So dumb.
    Oh and the post this as your status…I get so sick of seeing those.
    Great post as usual!

  6. This made me almost pee my pants. I must say I am guilty of #8. I have done it before. Oh wait and #10 too. I rarely post anything on Facebook anymore. I just post it all on the blog! LOL!

  7. I find that because I’m not pregnant anymore and my baby isn’t a wee little baby anymore that constant updates from new mamas and pregos irritate me. Could be because I not-so-secretly want another one. Just biding my time. Le sigh. Love your list. 🙂

  8. Don’t forget the game requests too. I really hate those things and no matter how many time I try to hide them…..more pop up. They are like cockroaches.

    And I’m with you on the whole “repost” thing. I guess I’m just a bad human being because I don’t “think my husband is my best friend,” “love my kids”, “love God,” “support aging diabetic dogs who need a home” — you get the drift.

    AMEN to the whole post!

  9. Perfect list!!! I could not agree with you more… It drives me insane when my 15 year old becomes friends with complete strangers – she thinks it’s okay as long as they have mutual friends.. NOT – now I’m the Nazi mom – always checking her FB…
    I’ve Become My Mother
    I’ve Become My Mother facebook

  10. Haha. I love this. You know what makes me sick? People that post all this mushy gushy love stuff about how their spouse is their universe, and every 5 minutes there is a i love you snuggle bunny back and forth… especially when you know the couple fights like hell on a daily basis *GAG*

  11. Oh my, Carrie, the all caps thing is ridiculous…why would you do that!? To make your status super special in my feed?!

  12. Love this! #5–LOL. #7–URGH! I just experienced this and it really upset me. I don’t live on FB so I dont want to read about someone’s life or death situation 3 days after the fact. It was really cold. I still don’t have all the details because this “close” friend hasn’t bothered to give me the info. It’s on FB somewhere, but I’m not gonna wade thru multi pages of updates to find it. Hello? I have email. And a phone–with the same phone number I’ve had for 23 years! Grr.

  13. Well, #3 leads me to wonder but I have some days where I update frequently and others where it’s maybe once. I will also keep #7 in mind when we finally get pregnant lol.

  14. 10 more reasons i’m glad I don’t have facebook LOL.

  15. Could I please add the “lonely hearts club” gang. Like this page if you “Still check your phone every 5 minutes to see if there’s a text even though you know he’s gone” , “Wish he knew I want to be more than just his friend or “Just want someone who will treat me nice and not walk all over me”. If I want to hear desperation and agony, I’ll turn on the Hallmark Channel. Posting a status like this is not making you look any more attractive to a potential mate, sweety…

  16. I DO ALL OF THIS! but ya still like me 🙂 lol

  17. Love it! I wish more people would read this. I stumbled your post. This is mine: http://www.confessionsofanover-workedmom.com/2011/06/no-its-not-all-about-free-stuff.html

  18. Stopping by from Stumble Tuesday My Post is How To Make Chicken Chili
    I love the facebook Don’t Post’s to funny. I hate when people tag me because I have my tagged pictures at the top fixed just right 🙂

  19. Ugh, I agree! Thank goodness for the “hide” feature.

    I stumbled you! my post is http://beautegras.blogspot.com/2011/06/product-review-alert-tresemme-color.html

  20. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

    Stumbled you…my post is:

    Kristin 🙂

  21. There are so many things that people do on facebook that annoy the crap out of me. One the worst are adults who are attention deprived and feel the need to post a new picture of their face daily to get as many responses as they can from enablers telling them how good they look. I hide these people, so, if they want me to know something important, they will have to call me.

    I am a new fan from the blog hop.



  22. Hahaha! I *hate* it when people friend me and I’m like ‘who the hell are you?’ Drives me batty!

    Stumbled you again today 🙂

    Jamie @ Mama.Mommy.Mom.

  23. Thanks for the post. I’m not actually a huge fan of FB….

    I stumbled you, my post is “The Power of Mind” found in this link – http://www.lifeascending.info/the-power-of-mind/

  24. I have all my college and high school friends on facebook and I agree it’s irritating when I’m invited to some event I’m obviously not going to go to.

    I stumbled you. My post is http://booksyourkidswilllove.blogspot.com/2011/05/summer-reading-programs.html

  25. Yep…so true to all 10!
    I stumbled you, If you haven’t already, please stumble me. Also, Thanks for attending Stumble Tumble Tuesday. Please come back next week!
    The Chief Blonde

  26. Great post. Quite amusing. Though I disagree with #8… I like when people put up photos from my childhood. I certainly don’t have the time or the patience to scan them in myself.

    Stumbled you, my post is:
    (Yeah, I’m catching up.)

  27. Totally love this post! Lady, you float the boat 🙂
    I’m quietly working on a cull on my Friends List because I reckon if you haven’t contacted me in a year (and vice versa) in any way, shape or form, I can’t really call you “friend” can I? And as a Grammar Nazi myself, I’m with you on that front. And I’ll add I’m a fully-paid-up member of the Apostrophe Appreciation and Correct Usage Society too! I quietly wish we had a LOT more members of this particular club.