Dec 232013
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Hi Masshole Mommy readers! Chris here again with another guest post.  

It’s perfect timing for the holiday season and I wanted to talk about the importance of giving the wife/girlfriend the perfect Christmas gift.

Your significant other has probably been hinting probably for at least the last six months about what they want.  But ladies, guys are thick-skulled, so they don’t pay all that much attention and don’t listen really well.  So, if you didn’t cut out a picture, put it in an envelope with the exact change, safety pin it to his shirt, drive him to the store and gave him the salespersons name to speak to  – then YOU ARE NOT getting the gift you want.

Now, fellas there are some do’s and don’ts for gift giving and I am speaking from experience.. 

1. Don’t give Love coupons for back massages or foot rubs.

2.  Don’t give a Tiffany’s Box with something other than Tiffany’s inside of it.

3.  Don’t give something that is for the household (Blender, mop, or new car headlight).

Do buy tickets for shows (hint: pick a show that you will most likely hate the most and get those because she will love them).

My personal favorite and it involves the least amount of work on my part is to say “Honey for my Christmas present to you, I will not look at the credit card bill for one month”,

Buying clothes is also a big no no.  You don’t want to be getting the wrong size!!

One big gift for each other is a great win/win because she will buy it and she will like it (ie:  a new TV)

Last, but not least, you can never go wrong with jewelry.  And do not wrap the jewelry box in 5 rolls of wrapping paper with two rolls of tape, because it will not be funny to her (especially in my case because would lose on my birthday –  which falls only three weeks after Christmas -because she will remember what a pain in the butt that present was and then you are stuck on your birthday with nothing but a headache).

Just remember, you could end up in the doghouse like this guy:

Until next time,


About Christian Rue

Christian is married to Masshole Mommy. A Massachusetts native, he's happy to still be living here, but he also enjoyed living in several states & two other countries during his 20 years in the Air Force. These days, in addition to being a retired Air Force firefighter, he works for our fine government as an accountant. Chris loves movies, reading, comedy and spending time with his family.

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  37 Responses to “The Perfect Christmas Gift for your Wife/Girlfriend (According to Chris).”

  1. I did good this year

  2. Some great tips here today and will say jewelry is a big yes here, too!! 🙂

  3. It’s a definite no-no to disguise something else in a jewelry box! I would draw and quarter my husband for doing something like that to me!!!!!

  4. Great advice Chris! My husband has made a few of these mistakes. According to the simple male mind of LB on WAAF, as far as the clothing goes, always buy the smaller sizes and then you can claim that’s the tiny size that you thought she really was! Then you look like a fricken hero! (This sounded better coming from him of course.)

    For us, we are going shopping together and picking stuff out that we know we like. It’s lame but it works for us.

  5. lol on the video. And my DIL loves Chai Lattes…my son (her husband) indulges with her often, and I know he’s not a fan, hahahahahaha

  6. Chris, you are hilarious!!!

    Robin, Forever 21 is a bad addiction and now with one so close, omygursh, I am going to be in trouble. But where am I heading this morning? Oh to my Savers to get more deals o curs!

    Have a fabulous Eve of Christmas Eve you guys!!!! ♥ ♥

  7. Tickets for shows would be great! Often times my husband buys me things I never asked for. It’s hit and miss. I like some of the things, but often times don’t.

  8. I’m not a big fan of jewelry. Most days my wedding ring is in the jewelry box and not on my finger. I wouldn’t mind #3 but my husband thinks like you and would NEVER, EVER get me something for the house. I want a new console table and refuse to buy it even though he keeps insisting. I keep putting it on my Christmas list but he says a table isn’t a gift. So, we are going to be 80 and I won’t have my table.

    He always manages to do a good job though, he is way better at gift giving than I am.

  9. I am probably the only female who actuallywants practical gifts for Christmas. The more useful, the better so give me the blender, the silverware, the electronics. My sisters and I are all like that, actually. Christmas morning often looks like we are going into the restaurant business!

  10. Household products or workout gear is never a good idea! Great tips, Chris 🙂

  11. Smart guy. There was a time I’d have loved back rub coupons but they were never accepted when I tried to cash them in. I told my husband not to get me anything but I’m seeing boxes from Amazon in his name so I’m assuming there will be some Supernatural or Doctor Who merch waiting for me under the tree.

  12. LOL If my husband ever gave me a Tiffany’s Box without Tiffany’s inside…yeah, he’d be sleeping on the couch. LOL Unless that box had a gift card to buy myself some Tiffany’s 🙂

  13. For my husband, this list is the complete opposite. I love household things, hate jewelry, and my husband buys most of my clothes for me lol

  14. I’m afraid I’ll be sending the Caveman to the doghouse this year. I’m pretty sure he has nothing. Yes, Jewelry always TOTALLY works!

  15. I am a weird female, I love anything for the kitchen and hate jewelry. My husband has learned that if I want something I just buy it, we don’t exchange gifts at Christmas, just birthdays and Anniversaries. We are strange, but we’ve been married 10 years so it works for us 🙂

  16. I love the idea of “not looking” at the credit card bill. That’s sweet. But I think your forgot chocolate. Like jewelry, you can never go wrong with chocolate 🙂

  17. OMG this had me laughing OUT loud! the don’t are dead on! Wish my bf would give me the “i wont look at the credit card bill for a month” hehehe

  18. brilliant that is all i can say simply brilliant

  19. I agree with most of these tips. I have always hated it when I was given clothing as a gift because if it doesn’t fit or I don’t like it, I always feel badly returning it.

  20. lol the dog house like this guy, But these are some great tips, Thanks Again for a great post

  21. Some great tips shared by you, and one really needs to think out of the box for the perfect gift.

  22. Okay, that video is so funny! Honestly, I’m a very practical person so my husband is lucky that I appreciate those types of gifts. But mostly I like magazines, which he knows, and tries to find me really obscure ones he knows I’ll like.

  23. My boyfie gave me a ring – simple but I was really so happy!

  24. Thanks for the gift giving tips. I hope everyone gets what they want. Have a happy holiday.

  25. My other half picked his own presents this year and she did I so thankfully no horrid surprises though he is very good.. I think I would cry if I got a Tiffany box with something else in it – was bad enough when my aunt hid chocolate in toilet rolls lol 😉

  26. These might work for your wife/girl friend. I love getting household items and if I got coupons I could actually redeem, I would love those. I hate shows and jewelry – I would divorce my husband if he wasted money on those when I could have new running shoes! You have to know the person you are with because we are all different.

  27. Smart man, haha! I loved this list, oh so true 🙂

  28. I guess I’m in the minority: I love kitchen appliances. My husband bought me a KitchenAid stand mixer, and it’s seriously one of the best kitchen appliances ever. I’m not sure why and how I lived without one before. I’m also not much of a jewelry person, but I love bracelets and cuffs.

  29. That video is too much. My husband would be in the dog house for sure if he got me clothes in the wrong size or a blender for Xmas.

  30. Sadly my boyfriend is a thousand miles away from me, so I can’t drag him anywhere. Huh. Good foe you and most especially fpr your othwr half, you got the gidt giving thing down to a tee!

  31. That’s too funny about the Tiffany box idea!

  32. I agree with #2 and #3 (PLEASE no cleaning supplies!!) but #1 is one of my fave types of gifts. For starters, I’m a sucker for massages and foot rubs.. and I love a personal pampering gift. 🙂

  33. Snort … LOL

    Rick did very good too, I gave him a list and he got almost EVERY thing on it! Lesson learned email a list every year 🙂

  34. Great tips. Can I add one more? Don’t order your wife a gift that is to be both her birthday gift and Christmas gift too late. It ends up not arriving in time for either event.

  35. Ha! Great advice! I’m a weirdo and love getting household items for Christmas though. The KitchenAid hubby got me a few years ago was awesome! I’m also not big on jewelry but candles are good! It took me many years to convince hubby that I despise all gold jewelry, he finally quit trying and now I don’t have to suffer with smiling and nodding at the tacky bling bling he seems to be attracted to, lol!

  36. Great tips! I showed this to my husband just as an FYI!

  37. Great tips! Although the exception to the appliance rule is if she asks for one!