Sep 272013
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Good Morning Masshole Mommy readers. Chris here again with a guest post.

Today, I want tell you about a important time in my life.  A time when a boy becomes a man and the story of how I popped my cherry.  I remember like it was yesterday because well, you never forget your first time. I was a young man of 19 and I had been practicing and practicing and practicing by myself and as part of a team for this significant event in my life.  I also went to school for 4 months to learn how to perform this task to perfection.  It was a Monday morning when I woke up to what would become a hot and wet day.  Most of my friends were there cheering me on and giving me advice.  After it was over my supervisor even complemented me on a job well done.  It wouldn’t be my last time because I would have ample opportunities over the next 20 years to do it over and over again.

Since it was my first time, I didn’t believe that I could get the job done and I stumbled with my clothing. After it was all over I was sticky with sweat, dehydrated and my whole body was sore – but in a good way.  My knees were sore from being on my knees the whole time. I twisted my ankle and bruised by shoulder, but I had a huge smile on my face for days.  That night my buddies took me out for a celebratory beer and we relived it over again and again.

Of course I am talking about my first fire.

I went out on a call for a two family house fire with a report of flames coming out of the windows and with occupants still inside.   I was not part of the rescue team, but I was the man on the nozzle to put the fire out.  We pulled up to the house and there were flames everywhere on one side of the house.  I almost fell out of the truck I was so excited.  When we made entry.  The smoke was so thick that I could not see my hand in front of my face.  We went in crawling because the heat was so intense.  I found the fire in the living and the dragon beast seemed almost like it was laughing at me as the flame was licking the walls and almost seemed to be moving towards me.  I quickly opened my nozzle and slayed the dragon.  Everyone made it out safely and we were able to save the other house.

Here are a few iPhone photos from my military fire fighting training:



And that is the story of how I popped my cherry with my first fire.

About Christian Rue

Christian is married to Masshole Mommy. A Massachusetts native, he's happy to still be living here, but he also enjoyed living in several states & two other countries during his 20 years in the Air Force. These days, in addition to being a retired Air Force firefighter, he works for our fine government as an accountant. Chris loves movies, reading, comedy and spending time with his family.

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  19 Responses to “The Time I Lost My “Virginity””

  1. LOL, of course it was your first fire you were talking about. I know that not one person thought of anything else!!

    Huge hats off to you for choosing such an amazing job. It takes a special kind of person to risk their life for the benefit of others, and it seems you have chosen that with both of your careers!

  2. I had other firsts also my first plane crash, first time doing CPR, vehicle accident,hazardous materials but those are for other posts

  3. Great story…you had me going there….lol I can see why you would never forget that….Thanks for you service. 🙂

  4. Well that was an unexpected ending! Rosey is right though, risking your life to save others is truly an amazing way to make a living — hats off to you!

  5. Love the twist in what you were actually talking about 🙂 I agree with everyone else that you do an amazing job saving others and should be proud!

  6. Don’t know what we’d do without great firefighters like you. Thanks for sharing your “first time” Chris! 🙂

  7. Totally had me going, too. But great story and just glad that you were indeed safe and sound after the first one was all over!

  8. I kind of thought the meaning would change.

  9. My husband did firefighter training in the Navy. He has told me stories about it. I actually applied to be a volunteer firefighter though I haven’t heard yet if I made it or not, so I really enjoyed hearing about your first time!

  10. Such a clever firefighter … I’m so glad you practiced and practiced and practiced!

    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo

  11. Great story telling! My grandpa was a firefighter. Definitely a tough job! Thanks for your service to the community!

  12. Chris: ok ok – I’ll give you credit for cleaver writing and sexual innuendo-ish comparisons to your ‘first time’. Hahahahaha. You have got to be so brave; both in what you do and in how you opened this post. hahahahaha.
    Robin: Thank you for your ever fun and kind comments!!! ♥

  13. I love his stories >.<

  14. You had me there for a minute. Great story Chris!!

  15. You totally had me for a minute, as well. Great story and so glad to read that everybody made it out safely.

  16. Hahahaa…. well you got me too. Glad you were talking about a fire though.

  17. Great story, Chris! I didn’t think you were talking about the other thing but I never did figure it out until you told me. Funny!

  18. Thank you for slaying dragons for the rest of us! Great story!

  19. Clever headline, LOL. Glad you slayed the dragon Chris.