Jan 302014
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Hi Masshole Mommy readers! Chris here again with another guest post.

Last time I told you about my favorite job and now I am going to tell you about my least favorite job.

The worst job that I ever worked was as a delivery driver for a Pizza shop.  

Don’t get me wrong, the money was good – not only did I get minimum wage, but I got to keep all my tips.  I loved going home with cash in my pocket every night. I also didn’t mind driving around by myself with the radio blaring out Britney Spears songs again and again.  My coworkers were nice and my manger was great.  And all the free pizza I could eat was probably the singular greatest benefit any job can give you.  

Unfortunately, I never did have the delivery to a house where a beautiful woman met me at the door in bathrobe and invited me in for my tip (a guy can dream right), but I did get a few people who tipped me in exact change (quarters, dimes nickels and pennies) and I did receive a six pack of Bud Light as a tip once.

After all those great things, this was still the worst job I have had in my life for one reason and one reason only: directions.  You may remember from my earlier posts that I am horrible with directions and getting lost.  How bad you ask? Well lets just say that Masshole Mommy has to always assume I don’t know where I am going when I am driving with her, so she has to pay attention to tell me where to go.  How bad you ask?  I still have a MapQuest print out in my backpack about how to get to my work from the train station (it is a 10 minute walk) just in case.  How bad you ask? The single greatest invention to me before the cellphone, internet, car, fire or anything is the GPS Garmin.  But unfortunately for me, at the time the GPS unit was not available yet. How bad you ask? I obey Masshole Mommy for everything , what ever she says in law, BUT in my car I only listen to Garmin and no one else.

So, I had to deal with getting wicked lost almost every time I delivered a pizza. Sometimes, it was so bad that I showed up an hour late for a 15 minute delivery.  Customers would get so mad – yelling at me and my manager.  It got to a point that I would only take orders from like five houses where I knew the exact location so it was easy for me.  The stress ended up being too much for me and I had to quit.

Until next time,

About Christian Rue

Christian is married to Masshole Mommy. A Massachusetts native, he's happy to still be living here, but he also enjoyed living in several states & two other countries during his 20 years in the Air Force. These days, in addition to being a retired Air Force firefighter, he works for our fine government as an accountant. Chris loves movies, reading, comedy and spending time with his family.

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  80 Responses to “The Worst Job I Ever Had (By Chris)”

  1. Thanks for sharing Chris! I never really thought how hard it could actually be for the delivery person regarding directions!!!!

    But, I am glad you quit. If something bothers us more than it gives us happiness we should quit. 🙂

  2. I would totally get lost, too, because I am not that great at directions either. So, I think I might had to quit, too for that alone!

  3. Ohhhhh how I miss the pizza

  4. That is hysterical about you getting lost all the time. Good thing you didn’t work at Domino’s and had to get it there in 30 minutes or less!

  5. I worked at a pizzeria for 8 years and loved it. I was not a driver however so none of those troubles.

  6. Oh Chris-that must have been super stressful for you and even though the money was good I can see how it would not be worth it. My worst job was making milkshakes in a store while I was at college–the people used to come in just to see me try–There was more on me then in the mixer! yes, I ultimately quit as well.

  7. I can imagine how stressful that would be! But combined with getting free pizza….hmmm, hard to say which one would weight heavier 😉

  8. I feel really bad for delivery people specially having to deal with traffic and timed deliveries. I am sure you miss the pizza but no stress is worth the wrinkles!
    Too funny how you are lost without your trusty GPS!

  9. I’ve got that same horrible sense of direction. I just expect it at this point, and so do my kids (love my GPS!!) but it’s so bad that even after all of these years my husband STILL gets mad and thinks I’m doing it on purpose or whatever (because directions are so easy for him). He got me a GPS for Christmas a few years back and it’s prolly the best gift I ever got, saved me more than a dozen times. 🙂

  10. wow thanks for for sharing and i’m glad you quit and are happy now

  11. My husband delivers pizza right now and works for Wendy’s while in school to be an EMT. He has had some horrible experiences. Such as being robbed at knife point, threatened, and being accused of hitting someone just bc they can just point out the Pizza deliveries guy car. It pays so the bills…so he continues. 5 more months 🙂

  12. Sometimes I wonder how I ever got anywhere without GPS.

  13. GPS is my best buddy too! I have no sense of direction so I can certainly relate to your story. I guess the question is, would it still be the worst job ever with a GPS? All that pizza? BEST JOB EVER! 🙂

  14. Masshole Mommy has you trained well!!! And ten minutes and you still get lost? LOL That’s awesome!


  15. I would have to say the same thing, I’m really bad at directions! Thanks for the great guest post!

  16. yup, i have a horrible sense of direction. so this job wouldn’t be good for me!

  17. I’m kind of the same way. I print out a fresh Mapquest every time I leave the house. Although I do have the route to work down pat!

  18. I am so bad with directions too. I had to pick up a coworker once. She lived 5 minutes down the road- a straight shot to boot. Took me 45 minutes with a stop at the flower delivery shop to ask them for directions lol.

  19. I can say from experience that you were not the only pizza delivery guy to be directionally challenged. Happens all the time here.

  20. ha! And they say men is better with direction than women 😛 I am worst, you take any direction from me..guaranteed you will be lost 😀

  21. Same problem, I get lost a lot. I always seem to have a lot on my mind and don’t pay attention.

  22. Now that’s one job I never had, but when it comes to getting lost, I’m your gal!

  23. GPS, GPS! Haha, sorry not so funny I guess, but some things do get better with technology

  24. That probably was way stressful, and the stress probably added to not being able to find the locations…. At least your employer was nice! 🙂

  25. I love the way you write! You make me laugh. I could never do this type of job – I hate driving and all the traffic. Would drive me nuts 🙂

  26. I’m not really bad with directions but I like knowing where I’m going. It frustrates me when I can’t find my way or get lost. I can only imagine how you felt.

  27. I know a couple of people who worked at pizza places and they never got free pizza 🙁 lol I did like working in food service but not as much as everywhere else. It’s probably one of my worst jobs too!

  28. It would be pretty hard to deliver pizzas if you are horrible at directions. I am also horrible and used to get laughed at because I would be headed somewhere for work and ask someone how to get there, they always assumed I was new to the area and were shocked to learn I have lived here my entire life.

  29. That sounds like my daughter’s sense of direction. She would be the worst pizza delivery person ever!

  30. I can imagine delivery driving isn’t fun – I wouldn’t like walking into the unknown x

  31. LOL I KNOW I could never do that job for the exact same reason. No sense of direction!

  32. We are always thinking of our pizza guy with good tips but I always wonder how they find houses. lol

  33. I couldn’t imagine doing that job. But then I have had some doozies for jobs.

  34. I could never get there in 15 minutes or less. Nope.
    By the time I get the car started, stash my purse, tune in a good song on the radio, adjust mirrors and my seat, give the windows a clean, and adjust the heating/cooling — yeah, time is half up. I haven’t even applied lip gloss in the mirror – yes, the one I already set.
    I’m such a girl driver.

  35. I feel for you. I am horrible with directions. I can get lost walking into a store at the mall and forgetting which way I walked in. Bad right?

  36. Look at it this way….although you hated your pizza delivery job, think of all the folks who loved you as you showed up with their pizzas

  37. I’d get so lost so fast. I’m never good when I don’t know where I’m going, I get upset easily 🙁

  38. I suck at directions too. I would die without my Garmin!

  39. I can’t believe someone tipped you with Beer! But then again, atleast it was some type of tip!

  40. Too funny! I do think you were definitely in the wrong profession given your “disability”. 😉 My husband delivered pizzas for years and put himself through college with that money and one of my sons did too. They both loved it because they could listen to sports on the radio and they had a lot of freedom.

  41. I would be an awful delivery driver… for the very same reason. I’ll have to stick to ordering pizzas instead. And I’d be lost (literally) without my GPS. Ha!

  42. So funny! And I completely empathize. I am terrible with directions and could never have been a pizza delivery gal, real estate agent, or any other person who must count on directional skills all day. Yes, thank you, geniuses, for inventing the GPS!

  43. I’m terrible at directions, too. I can only get places now b/c of the Garmin! One time, it took me a totally different way across state than what I was used to, a back way- and it went out in one area. I completely freaked because I had no idea where I was. You could have offered me a million dollars if I could find my location within 100 miles on the map and I wouldn’t have been able to do it. Thankfully, the outage didn’t last long and it came back.

  44. I have always felt bad for pizza delivery guys. I always tip them generously, I mean, they have to drive in horrible weather, smell like pizza all day…it’s definitely not a job I would want!

  45. Without a good GPS, I’d never be able to do that job either. I have no sense of direction.

  46. Pizza no I could not do it. Too much driving around for me and I hate driving lol

  47. Lol! Thanks for this…I completely sympathize with you. I love the gps on my phone for this very reason.

  48. I could never! The worst job I ever had was in the food industry too. I worked in an Italian restaurant and it was the WORST of the WORST. Rude customers, crappy tips, cleaning up people’s dirty mess, and giving people free food because they wanted to complain about having too few ice cubes in their drink!

  49. Hmmm…all the pizza I can eat and beer as a tip? Someone please tell me why I haven’t already done this.

  50. I can totally relate. When we came to Canada my dad was in his 40’s with little English & the first job he ever got was pizza delivery …. I can still remember the horror stories 🙂

  51. I think a lot of us had one of “those” jobs growing up or at some point in our life! It certainly reminds me to be extra nice to people that have jobs like that now because I can remember how tough it was!

  52. Chris, I laughed right through this post. If I got a six pack at the worst job I ever had I might have stayed (6 pack a day that is. And I don’t even drink!.) And the fact that mass mommy is law right behind the Garmin is hilarious! I still use mapquest! I’m good with directions but you never know when your brain or technology might fail you!

  53. Hahaha. I feel like most men have been a delivery driver at some point. I’m glad I haven’t, but I know my hubby was. (he tips drivers well now)

  54. My husband is directionally challenged as well. If he ever had to be a delivery driver, our family would probably starve! Thanks for the laugh!

  55. oh my gosh! I’m surprised you quit and didn’t get fired for having the manager get yelled at so many times! Great post! I used to deliver and without GPS, I’d be lost.

  56. I once ended up on the wrong side of the state. (Yes, state.) I went east instead of west heading home from a state championship game. Drove about 2 hours before I realized my mistake.

  57. I used to have a terrible sense of direction, but I’ve gotten much better as I’ve gotten older. I use my Garmin all the time anyways!

  58. Brittney Spears? Really? LOL! Seriously, I would be a horrible delivery person. Aside from getting lost, I refuse to make left turns in heavy traffic areas without a light. So I’d have to plot some sort of bizarre right turn only course.

  59. I and my husband are exactly like you. We are terrible with directions and if it wasn’t for the GPS we would be perpetually lost. Sometimes even with the GPS we end up losing our way.

  60. I can just imagine how bad a pizza delivery guy you were if you can’t follow directions. I guess you may have been giving away free pizzas if you have a 30 minute delivery time or its free deal. I would love for you to have been my delivery driver then lol

  61. I can’t imagine how pizza drivers got around back in the day! Even with my Google Maps, it still steers me wrong!

  62. LOL! You are not alone. I have no idea how I functioned before Garmin became one of my BFFs!

  63. A tip of Bud Light? That sounds like a pretty great tip to me! Exact change? Not so much.

  64. Oh dear! Poor Chris… Pity to read that you were yelled at for showing up late on a delivery. I always wondered about how the guys found half the places they were sent to… GPS now but back then not. 🙂

  65. Aww man. exact change that gets on my nerves.. I always try to have extra for tips.. GPS is a life saver!

  66. Ha! I would have hated being a delivery driver for a pizza shop for the same reason LOL! I have ZERO sense of direction – I woul dhave gotten lost all the time!

  67. my husband was a pizza driver at one point too. he loved the money each night but hated the miles he put on the car

  68. Oh no! We all have our strengths and weaknesses and that job just played up a weakness! Glad you quit so you could be less stressed!

  69. I’m with you….I would be a terrible delivery person. I’m always getting lost.

  70. Don’t feel too bad, Chris. I’m awful with directions, too! And I wouldn’t have been able to resist sneaking a bite of pizza 😉

  71. You know sometimes we have to know our strengths and weakness. A job where you needed all those directions wasn’t a good fir for you. But dont feel bad. I’m good with directions but still have a problem finding places sometimes. LOL

  72. The fastfood/restaurant business is a tough one to work in. I hated customer service and the food industry, easily one of my worst jobs ever.

  73. Oh, man. Yeah, I’d be horrible being a delivery person. I’ve lived here for like 5 years now and I just now am starting to understand the way the roads run.

  74. I hear you! I’m terrible with directions. It’s a running joke among my friends- I’m always getting lost!

  75. Ha ha! I’m good at directions but that job still sounds like it would be horrible for many other reasons!

  76. Yup, stick to finance.

  77. Well, nothing is ever perfect, so maybe in exchange for the great job, you had to have the ability to get lost to balance things out anc make you work for all the benefits. I hope that mmade sense!

  78. Just sounds like me and my husband! We’re both horrible at directions. Not a good thing. ~lol~

  79. The only bright side to that job IMO is the tips. My ex did it for awhile. Was nice having that extra money every night.